Archivio per ottobre, 2009

Follia

Pubblicato: ottobre 27, 2009 in Citazioni da altri siti
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Ma solo nei sogni gli uomini sono davvero liberi,
è da sempre così e così sarà per sempre.
 
Annunci
Sa dottore, io ho un difetto molto comune: non sono perfetto.
 
"è questo il mio problema: sono calmo da una vita, adesso è ora di cambiare!"
 

Dalthir

Pubblicato: ottobre 25, 2009 in La mia storia
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A girl walks in a bar and see three guys. She walks to them and says "the one who can make a phrase with ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ can have me."
The first one tryes with "i like liver and cheese"
The girl bows her head and says "dude that’s lame!"
Second guy comes up with "i hate liver and cheese"
She turns around and says "at least be original"
Third guy drinks up his beer and says "c’mon guys liver alone cheese mine!"

Overture 1812

Pubblicato: ottobre 19, 2009 in La mia storia
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Cosa sono le endorfine?
Quando il tuo corpo balla l’overture 1812!
 
"Ci insegnano a ricordare le idee e non l’uomo, perché l’uomo può fallire. L’uomo può essere catturato, può essere ucciso e dimenticato. Ma 400 anni dopo ancora una volta un’idea può cambiare il mondo. Io sono testimone diretto della forza delle idee, ho visto gente uccidere per conto e per nome delle idee, li ho visti morire per difenderle… Ma non si può baciare un’idea, non puoi toccarla né abbracciarla; le idee non sanguinano, non provano dolore… le idee non amano. Non è di un’idea che sento la mancanza ma di un uomo, un uomo che mi ha riportato alla mente il 5 novembre: un uomo che non dimenticherò mai."
 
"Sotto questa maschera non c’è solo carne, sotto questa maschera c’è una idea."
 
"Era Edmond Dantès. Ed era mio padre e mia madre, mio fratello, un mio amico, era lei, ero io, era tutti noi."
 
 
E se quel giorno fosse oggi, Mary?
 

Problemi di cuore

Pubblicato: ottobre 12, 2009 in La mia storia
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E il un epoca in cui trovare la risposta è diventato di assoluta importanza,
l’uomo invece dell’anima vende il cuore.
 

Pagliacci

Pubblicato: ottobre 9, 2009 in Citazioni da libri
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"Un uomo va dal dottore. è depresso. Dice che la vita gli sembra dura e crudele.
Dice che si sente solo in un mondo che lo minaccia e ciò che lo aspetta è vago e incerto.
Il dottore dice: "La cura è semplice. In città c’è il grande clown Pagliacci. Vallo a vedere e ti tirerà su."
L’uomo scoppia in lacrime.
"Ma dottore", dice…
…Pagliacci sono io."
Bella storia.
Tutti ridono."
 

Giudizio

Pubblicato: ottobre 8, 2009 in La mia storia
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Non trovate particolarmente emblematico il fatto che debbano strapparmi via entrambi i denti del giudizio perchè stanno crescendo storti?
 

Asshole!

Pubblicato: ottobre 5, 2009 in Citazioni da altri siti
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Riporto pari pari una storia raccontanta dal GM della mia gilda, Aswadd:
 
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know…….

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’

I politely said, ‘This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear ‘Get the right f***ing number!’ and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an asshole!’ and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it,and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an asshole!’ It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, ‘Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?’

He yelled ‘NO!’ and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an asshole!’ and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a ! ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole too. I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’

He said, ‘Yes, it is.’

I asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’

He said, ‘Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and the car’s
parked right out in front.’

I asked, ‘What’s your name?’

He said, ‘My name is Don Hansen,’

I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Don?’

He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’

I said, ‘Listen, Don, can I tell you something?’

He said, ‘Yes?’

I said, ‘Don, you’re an asshole!’

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called asshole #1.

He said, ‘Hello.’

I said, ‘You’re an asshole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.)

He asked, ‘Are you still there?’

I said, ‘Yeah,’

He screamed, ‘Stop calling me,’

I said, ‘Make me,’

He asked, ‘Who are you?’

I said, ‘My name is Don Hansen.’

He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’

I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . I have a black Beamer parked in front.’

He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.’

I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,’ and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, ‘Hello?’

I said, ‘Hello, asshole,’

He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’

I said, ‘You’ll what?’

He exclaimed, ‘I’ll kick your ass,’

I answered, ‘Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.’

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way home to kill my
gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work………………..